STUDENT 101: HOW TO EAT WELL AS A STUDENT | Jazz Blackwell

This post relates pretty directly back to the Student 101 post I made at the start of the year about how to grocery shop on a student budget. This one, however, is more concerned with what to do when you get home from the shops; it's all fair and well knowing what to buy and where to buy it, but if you're clueless about what to do with it when you get it back home then you're gonna be no better off than if you never shopped savvy in the first place. Knowing how to feed yourself properly is gonna be your best defence against spending all your student loan on takeouts and fast food, which can get incredibly expensive pretty fast. This month, I'm gonna do my best to give you a few basic tips on how to feed yourself relatively well as a student, and I've got some very cheap recipes to come for you in the coming months - so keep your eyes peeled!

TIP #1:  STORE CUPBOARD STAPLES

One of the best things you can do in terms of feeding yourself well at uni is making sure your cupboards are well stocked and stocked with the right things. It's especially important if you're going into your first year and you're in halls; chances are you'll have at least one whole cupboard to yourself, whereas in your fridge and freezer you might only have a shelf. Filling up your cupboard with important staples is a sure fire way to keep yourself decently fed when you're limited on fridge space. 

It's not just a case of keeping the cupboards full, though; what you put in them is important. The whole point of food posts in this little Student 101 series is to make sure you lovely lot aren't surviving solely on Super Noodles and scrambled eggs, but that's not to say you should never eat those things. Having a few packs of dried noodles on hand is always a good idea for quick meals when you're busy with classes and revision. Dried foods, in general, are a good idea to keep in stock - pasta, rice and lentils make for easy, quick, filling meals and have long shelf lives. Typically, these things will stay good in your cupboard for months on end and are generally very cheap, so they're a good thing to buy in bulk.  

TIP #2: LEARN SOME BASIC RECIPES 

Now listen, I'm not going to insult your intelligence and pretend this isn't glaringly obvious. Of course, it is: if you want to eat well, you're gonna need to learn how to cook something. The question is what? As I mentioned earlier, my aim here is to get as many students as possible not solely existing on semi-prepared convenience foods. Things like pasta sauces, chillis, curries, and casseroles can be as easy as dumping a bunch of ingredients into a pan and shoving it in the oven or simmering it on the hob for a bit, and you can even recreate your favourite takeaway pizzas with minimal effort, minimal cost and minimal skill. These things are also handy to know how to cook because they're incredibly adaptable - made a pasta sauce that you fancy bulking out with a bit of protein? Chop up some sausages and chuck them in there! Having your mates round for chilli, but one of them's just gone veggie? Swap out the mince for beans and lentils! Once you've got the base recipe down, making alterations like that are simple, and it really helps in keeping your diet varied and interesting as well as being a hell of a lot cheaper than constant takeouts. 

You can find a whole host of good free recipes for students online, including here at BBC Good Food (and you can also watch this space for potential recipes from yours truly in the future), or you can find a number of recipe books including the ever-popular Nosh For Students (£5.76 on Amazon) or my personal favourite, The Student Cookbook (£4.58 on Amazon), which I was gifted by my lovely Auntie Ellie before I moved away to uni and which has been a real lifesaver for me ever since (if you do get it, I strongly recommend the sausage casserole and garlicky lentils recipes - delish!) 

TIP #3: KNOW YOUR SPICES 

Here's the thing about cooking: it's all about the seasoning. You can know how to sear a steak to absolute perfection, or whip up mashed potatoes that are the perfect combination of thick and creamy - but unless you throw at least some kind of seasoning in there, chances are it's going to be entirely bland and boring. 

Now, nobody is expecting you to have your halls kitchen kitted out like you're Gordon Ramsay or something, and there's absolutely no need to be buying fancy, exotic, expensive spices that you're never going to use, but there are definitely some basics that you should keep in supply. Salt and pepper are an absolute must, as they (salt in particular) form the base of almost any flavour you can possibly hope to create in the kitchen, and you won't get very far without them. I'd also recommend keeping paprika, parsley, chilli powder and/or cayenne, garlic powder, onion powder, coriander and cumin in constant supply, as these are very common seasonings that a lot of recipes call for, and you can generally cobble together most anything using those. Seasoning blends are also a good idea to have on standby - things like Chinese five spice, dried mixed herbs and curry powder can be picked up super cheap from most supermarkets and are handy to be able to chuck into anything to give it that bit of extra oomph. Remember: a well-stocked spice shelf never hurt anyone, and having these basic seasonings kicking about can really take your cooking game from zero to ten in no time. 

TIP #4: FRESH v. FROZEN
The eternal debate of real adults and fake adults (aka me) alike: to buy fresh, or to buy frozen. The answer is... kind of, both. 

Here's the truth: no matter where you're at in your adulting career, your best bet it to buy some things fresh and some things frozen, and I honestly can't really tell you which to buy from which category, because it largely depends on who you are as a person. Myself, for example, I buy almost exclusively frozen diced onions, because my eyes are very sensitive and I end up crying like a bitch any time I try to chop a fresh onion. If you don't have that problem, however, and you do use a lot of onion, you may find that it works out to be cheaper for you to buy your onions fresh. Conversely, I can't bear the texture of frozen cauliflower so, when I eat it (mostly in the form of Buffalo Cauliflower Bites - stay tuned for my recipe), I always buy fresh. Peas and corn I always buy frozen, because it works out to be far cheaper and much easier and quicker to cook - and let's face it, lads, I'm pretty bloody lazy. Fact of the matter is what you should buy fresh and what you should buy frozen comes down to you. Have a good think, practically, about what you're going to use up before it goes out of date if you buy it fresh, and what will you need to keep for longer, and judge it that way. The good news is this - frozen veg is every bit as good for you as fresh, so you don't have to worry about not getting your nutrients if the way for you is frozen. 

TIP #5: TREAT YO' SELF.
All this in mind remember; it's okay even if you're on a student budget to treat yourself sometimes. There's absolutely nothing wrong with ordering yourself your favourite takeout or going out to dinner with your friends every now and then. The point of this post series isn't to discourage you from doing that - rather, just to show you that you don't need to live off of takeout and fast food every day if you're a student, and that you can genuinely eat as well as you did back at home while providing for yourself for the first time. 

Keep your eyes peeled for coupons and discounts on your favourite takeout restaurants; some of them will hand out fliers and vouchers (possibly even free samples) at Fresher's Fairs, and a lot of them - for example, Domino's and Pizza Hut - have deals on constantly, with vouchers available on their respective websites or attached to their menus. You can also often get discounts as a new user on most of the takeout apps like Deliveroo, UberEats and Just Eat and remember to always keep your eye out online for additional discounts. 

So, those are my five tips on eating well as a student. Give them a whirl and see if they help you out, and feel free to drop any you think I've missed in the comments down below. 

Keep it weird, 
Jazz xo

READING ROUND UP: FEBRUARY 2019 | Jazz Blackwell

I'm gonna preface this post by saying just this: I've been really really shit at reading this month. The last week of my life (and the last week of February) has been all but consumed by writing my dissertation proposal for my History class, which I fully thought I had over a month to write until a week before the due date - and I can assure you, that is exactly as much fun as it sounds. As a result, I've not had time to get much reading done at all, so this is gonna be a short one. Do accept my apologies for that, and I promise I'll read loads more in March to make up for it.

SLAUGHTERHOUSE 5 by KURT VONNEGUT

A riddle that I'm sure plagues everybody who's asked what Slaughterhouse 5 is about: how exactly does one go about describing the plot of Vonnegut's seminal masterpiece without sounding entirely fucking mental? Seriously, try telling anyone you're currently engrossed in an anti-war novel about an American World War 2 soldier/prisoner of war who becomes unstuck in time and eventually gets abducted by aliens, and they'll likely look at you like you've grown a second head. 

Jokes aside, Slaughterhouse 5 is genuinely one of my all time favourite books and I was super pumped when I found out it was on my twentieth century lit course this semester. Maybe I'm biased because I'm firmly of the opinion that Kurt Vonnegut is one of the coolest people to ever exist, and he's definitely on my 'Who would you invite to a dinner party' list, but I definitely think that this is one of the best books of the twentieth century. A weird and wonderful tale about the futility of war, the abstract concept of time and - you read it right earlier - literal aliens, Slaughterhouse 5 is an absolute must-read for any sci-fi fan worth their salt. Definite 10/10. 


VIRAL by MIKE JEAVONS (sort of) 

First and foremost here I'll say if you don't know who Mike Jeavons is, you're missing out. He creates content over on YouTube which I, personally, think is absolutely hilarious in a dry, sarcastic, deadpan sort of way. I've been a fan of his for a good couple of years now, and he's been talking about writing this novel on his channel for as long as I've been subscribed. Usually, I'm not one to buy into the whole 'YouTuber book' thing because I find they're often pandering, ghostwritten drivel that was produced far too quickly in order to make a bit of cash. But with Mike, I knew it was gonna be different because a) I know for a fact Mike wrote it himself because he's been proving that on his channel for ages and b) since Mike seemingly has a more mature fanbase than those who generally put out books, it has a lot more of an adult theme to it. The premise is this: Chad's webcam gets hacked while he's having a wank, and the video gets leaked to the internet - seemingly by his own brother. All hell breaks loose.

Now, here's where the 'me being a little bit shit' part comes into play. I ordered this on Amazon earlier on in the month and began reading it as soon as I opened the package - and then I realised the sheer amount of work I've had to complete in the latter half of the month and just never got round to finishing it. I'd say I'm currently about 1/4 of the way through, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it so far. It's as hilarious and sarcastic as I'd expect from Mike, and I can only assume it's gonna get better as it comes. It's maybe cheating a little bit to include it in this month's reading round up when I didn't actually read all of it in the month, but I wanted to include it because it's a new release and I want to show my support for one of my favourite content creators (and let's face it, I needed to pad out this post with something). From what I've read so far, the book is a solid 8/10, and I can only see it getting better. 

TOTAL BOOKS READ THIS YEAR: 5.25
PERCENTAGE OF YEARLY GOAL ACHIEVED: 10.5%

NETFLIX REVIEW: THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (2019) | Jazz Blackwell


It'll probably come as absolutely no shock to anybody reading this that teenage Jazz was something of a Gerard Way superfan (who are we kidding - I still totally am). So when I saw that the comics he created alongside Brazilian artist Gabriel Bá were being adapted to a television show via Netflix - well, something in my cold, dead little emo heart melted just a little bit.

Confession time: although I own the first volume of the comic book series (Apocalypse Suite), I never really got super into it. I suppose I've never really been a graphic novel person and really I was only interested in these comics because it had Gerard Way's name on the cover. That said, what I did read I thoroughly enjoyed and as such, I was more than a little excited for the series premiere.

If you're unfamiliar with the premise, allow me to sketch you a rough outline; on a day in 1989 in various places around the world, a number of children are born to women who had not been pregnant when they woke up that morning. Seven of them are adopted by Reginald Hargreeves, an eccentric scientist who recognises the unique superhuman powers each child possesses and raises them to become a ragtag team of sibling superheroes. Now adults, the siblings have abandoned their crime fighting and become estranged from one another, however, they are reunited by the death of their adopted father and the mysterious circumstances surrounding it.

I'm just gonna jump the gun and say it before I even get to the end of this review; I bloody loved this show, so much. Really, I have only two very small criticisms of it; the first is that, from what I recall of the comics, some parts of the storyline have been changed quite drastically. Now, to me, that isn't so much of an issue; the changes make sense for a TV adaptation and they don't make the plot any less enjoyable. However, if you're a purist and you like the show to be exactly like the book then this is probably gonna annoy you quite a bit. The second is the rather obvious similarities the show bares to the X-Men, which have been pointed out by several other critics. Again, this doesn't really bother me at all; I always was a huge X-Men fan, and the showrunners themselves seemed very aware of the similarities - there's even one direct comparison between Hargreeves and Charles Xavier.

Aside from those two small gripes (could we really call them that? Perhaps 'qualms' is more accurate), the show is, as far as I'm concerned, absolute perfection. It strikes a perfect balance between comedy and sci-fi, without ever being cheesy, and perfectly offsets its funnier scenes with some really pretty dark dramatic stuff. This is, of course, due in large part to the fantastic scriptwriting - but it's also carried perfectly by the cast. I'm perhaps a little bit biased because I've been head-over-heels in love with Robert Sheehan since the Misfits days, and putting him in eyeliner and leather trousers just makes him a thousand times hotter to my eye, but his character of Klaus (aka Number 4) is far and away my favourite on the show. Each of the characters is complex and interesting in their own right, but there's something uniquely fascinating to me about Klaus that had me in love with/rooting for him the entire time. The twist towards the end (which I won't share because we don't do spoilers here) was tense, shocking and brilliantly carried out.

Of course, we can't be sitting here talking about The Umbrella Academy without bringing up that soundtrack. Featuring classic hits from the likes of Adam Ant, Tiffany, The Doors and Toploader, as well as more modern tunes from Paloma Faith, Noel Gallagher's High Flying Birds and Woodkid, the music in the show is a perfect blend of vintage gloriousness and modern-day bops and good lord, that Gerard Way cover of Simon and Garfunkel's Hazy Shade of Winter gave me serious nostalgia back to the glory days of MCR. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest when I tell you I think this might be the best television soundtrack I've heard in literally years.

Overall, the show is perfectly written, perfectly cast and perfectly soundtracked, and that's supported by the fact that I binge-watched all seven and a half hours of it over two evenings. Warnings in place for some strong language, bloody violence and substance abuse. My overall rating is a strong 10/10. Anxiously awaiting season 2. 

Keep it weird,
Jazz xo

READING ROUND UP: JANUARY 2019 | Jazz Blackwell

HEART OF DARKNESS by JOSEPH CONRAD


I'm not gonna play you - I didn't particularly enjoy Heart of Darkness. I know that's something of a hot take, given how classic and influential a piece of literature it is. Look, I get it, I do. The central message (i.e. there's not really any difference between native 'savages' and white colonisers) is something that's pretty obvious to the modern reader but was pretty revolutionary at the time. I like that Conrad went against the grain and actively attempted to humanise the people Marlow encounters in the Congo and I really find Conrad as a person/historical figure pretty interesting. But there's just something about Heart of Darkness in particular that I struggle to get on board with. It feels tedious and boring to me and it may be the sleep deprivation, but I found it kind of hard to follow at times. That said, I don't especially hate the novella. It's just not my favourite; overall I'd give it a 5/10. 

MRS DALLOWAY by VIRGINIA WOOLF

Mrs Dalloway was a refreshing follow up in my required uni reading after Heart of Darkness, though that was hardly a surprise. I'm yet to meet a Virginia Woolf text that I don't like, and as this one is generally regarded as her most influential, I fully expected to enjoy it as well. I wasn't disappointed - I like the multi-faceted narrative here - the fact that we see the day from several different perspectives is refreshing and allows the story to stay interesting. It also feels incredibly real - I fully believe that any of these characters could've been a real-life person knocking about early-20th century London, which allows for the narrative to feel a lot more firmly grounded in realism. Definitely a good read, and one I'll probably read again in future; overall I'd give it a 9/10. 


JUDE THE OBSCURE by THOMAS HARDY

This is the only book I read this month that a) was not a part of my required reading for my course and b) I had already read before. Truth be told, Jude is one of my all-time favourite classic novels, and Hardy is up there amongst my favourite authors of all time. I chose this to read after the previous two because I've been feeling under the weather for the past few weeks (hence why I've been so shitty at posting  - apologies for that!), so I wanted to read something that I found easy and enjoyable to read. As with any Hardy book, Jude errs on the side of morose with some scenes being downright upsetting - so if that's not your thing you probably won't like this as much as I do. However, I would, as always, give Jude a 10/10. 

TOTAL BOOKS READ THIS MONTH: 3
PERCENTAGE OF YEARLY GOAL ACHIEVED: 6%

STUDENT 101: GROCERY SHOPPING ON A BUDGET | Jazz Blackwell

In a post way back in the days of yore, I promised that there was a post to come about how to do your food shopping on a budget while you're a student. I never really got round to it - until now, that is.

For most, starting uni is the first time we'll be fully financially independent - and that includes being the first time you're fully responsible for your own groceries. In all likelihood, you're gonna be on something of a shoestring budget - there's a reason that the student stereotype is surviving solely on tins of beans and Pot Noodles. But that's not the way it needs to be - with a little planning, a general knowledge of the local area and a couple of useful tricks and apps, it's completely possible to eat pretty well on even a tight student budget.

TIP #1: FAMILIARISE YOURSELF WITH YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKETS

This might seem glaringly obvious - perhaps to the point of being entirely annoying, but sometimes the obvious needs to be stated. The first thing you want to do when moving away to uni, whether you're going into halls or finding your own place, is to familiarise yourself with the supermarkets in the area. There are a couple of ways you can do this; the easiest is probably doing a quick google search of 'supermarkets near [your area]'. From there you can weigh up your options and make the most sensible decision for you - you're not likely to be able to afford Waitrose every week, even if it is your closest, and it might be worth making the extra five minute walk to Asda if that's your situation.

If you're going into halls, you'll probably find that your uni has assigned some older students to help with the move-in process. The majority of them will have lived in halls themselves, and they'll have at least a semi-decent knowledge of the area you're moving into. They're usually more than happy to answer any questions you have, so it may be worth asking which supermarkets you have in the area and exactly where they are in relation to the halls buildings.

Also remember that there's nothing wrong with budget supermarkets - Aldi and Lidl may be the butt of the joke in some circles, or the subject of a number of memes. But when you're a broke student, there's not really a lot of room for that kind of snobbery. Fact of the matter is that a lot of the products on offer at the cheaper supermarkets are every bit as good as their more expensive counterparts; you're usually just not paying for the name brand or fancier packaging. If you've got an Aldi or a Lidl available to you nearby, it's definitely worth picking those.


TIP #2: SUPERMARKET COMPARISON SITES
Now, maybe this is something most people already knew and I was just late to the party, but when I discovered supermarket comparison sites and apps at the beginning of second year, I was blown away by how handy it was. 

The one I specifically use is MySupermarket (not spons). It's pretty simple: you use the site to search for any items you need, and they compare the prices across fifteen different stores in the UK, including the leading supermarket chains. You can even compile an entire shopping list, and the site will tell you which supermarket is best to go to in order to spend the least. The site also allows you to see the best deals currently going on across all the stores they work with, and you can even use it to order a grocery shop online if that's what you prefer to do. My only criticism of it is that the mobile app isn't fantastic, and I much prefer working with the mobile site. 

TIP #3: LISTS AND BUDGETS
If you're looking to spend as little money as possible, I can't stress enough the importance of making a list before you hit the supermarket to get your grocery shopping. If you go in without one, even if you have an idea in your head about what you want, you're significantly more likely to go off-piste and spend money on additional things that you don't need. Make a physical copy of a list and take it and a pen with you to the shop so that you can check each item off as you get it. Remember here that there's nothing wrong with supermarket own-brand or value-brand products, and that frozen veg is no worse for you than fresh. 

It's also a good idea to set a budget before you go to the supermarket - perhaps even write it down on your list. If you go to the shop knowing that you want to spend no more than £20, for example, you're far less likely to overdo it. If you want to be even stricter with it, you can take only as much cash as you want to spend and leave your card behind at home; that way, you can't overspend even if you want to.

TIP #4: COUPONS, COUPONS, COUPONS 

This is another point that may seem redundant in its obviousness, but as with the first tip, it's obvious for a damn good reason. 

Coupons can be your absolute best friend when it comes to shopping as a student. Be they for cashback or for money off your entire purchase or singular products, anything that's going to help you save a wee bit of dough on your weekly shop is going to be handy for you. They can be a bit of a pain in the arse to find, but its worth putting the work in if you really need to scrimp and save. 

Your best shout for finding coupons these days is online; there's a whole page of them over on Money Saving Expert which gets updated regularly and is thoroughly checked to ensure all offers are fully valid and verified. There's also the offers page on P&G's Super Savvy Me website, where they regularly offer coupons on products from many of their daughter brands (note: P&G brands are all non-food brands, and these are mostly just useful for cleaning products and toiletries). You can also go the old fashioned route and check the newspapers for vouchers, but there's no guarantee here that you'll find any, and this does involve spending the money that the paper costs to get them. You can also check the App Store or Play Store to find coupon apps. 

TIP #5: SUPERMARKET LOYALTY PROGRAMS
Once you've familiarised yourself with the supermarkets in your area and decided which one is going to be best for you, think about looking into loyalty programs they might offer, as these can be a good way to save money or to be rewarded as a loyal/regular customer.

Personally, my closest supermarket is Morrisons, who offer the Morrisons More scheme which you can sign up to for free, with both a plastic card and an app that you can use. You get 5 points for every £1 you spend on groceries in-store or online, on fuel at Morrisons petrol stations or on food in Morrisons Cafés, or 25 points for every £1 you spend on gift cards in-store. When you reach 5,000 points, you receive a £5 off entire purchase voucher. They offer coupons through their More app, both for money off of various items and for extra points on certain purchases. They also have a 'More for Students' club that you can sign up to when you get a More account, through which you can get exclusive offers and discounts throughout the year. This is the only program I actually have any experience with, but you can find a really great comprehensive list  of the best ones over on Lovemoney. 

So those are my tips on how best to go about grocery shopping on a shoestring budget as a student. Try them out and see if they help, and feel free to leave any more you might have down in the comments of this post. 

Keep it weird,
Jazz xo

NETFLIX REVIEW: BANDERSNATCH (2018) | Jazz Blackwell


It'll probably come as little surprise to any of you that I'm something of a Black Mirror superfan. As both something of a fairweather conspiracy theorist, as well as a great big horror nut, it honestly feels like the series was made for me. I was also super into choose-your-own adventure stories when I was a kid - so, naturally, when I heard about Bandersnatch, I was beyond excited.

The first thing I'll say is a criticism, not of the show, but of Netflix itself. I initially tried to play Bandersnatch on the desktop app - to be presented with the 'Sorry' montage informing me that I wouldn't be able to do so. That was a bit confusing for me; its the newest version of the app that I have, and my laptop is brand new (I got it for Christmas), so I'm a little bit confused as to why the episode wouldn't play. However, I did manage to get it going on the Netflix online player with no issue, so it wasn't too much of a problem - just a heads up that if you are struggling to play it on the desktop app for any reason, then the web player might be the way to go.

As for the show itself, I intentionally didn't read too much into the premise or anything beforehand because I really wanted to go into it and have a totally fresh experience - so I was very pleasantly surprised to see Dunkirk's Fionn Whitehead in the main role as game developer Stefan Butler and the wonderful Will Poulter as his hero Colin Ritman. It was also wonderful seeing People Just Do Nothing's Asim Chaudhry as company director Mohan Tucker. In short - the show was altogether very well cast, though I expected no less of Black Mirror.

The choose-your-own-adventure style of the program - its main selling point - more than met my expectations. When I initially spotted people on Twitter talking about how their were rather cosmetic choices they didn't expect to be asked to make, I worried that it might be too much - I thought, perhaps, the show would be over saturated with viewer choice and lack that anxious sense of tension and suspense that makes Black Mirror so great. Thankfully, however, they seem to have found the perfect balance. The choices do, indeed, start off rather superficial and cosmetic seeming - you decide what Stefan will eat for breakfast, or what music he will listen to on the bus - but as the program progresses, the choices become more and more sinister and difficult. In typical Black Mirror style, there is no ending that is really 'happy' or 'good' - just some which are less dark and grisly than the rest.

Overall, Bandersnatch has every aspect of Black Mirror which makes it so fantastic. My only criticism is the one fault I had with Netflix itself. It's difficult to issue any kind of disclaimers or trigger warnings for the show, given the near-infinite possibilities that depend on viewer choice, but I will say that if you're sensitive to blood, themes of mental illness, depictions of suicide and mentions of murder, approach this (and, honestly, any other Black Mirror) episode with caution.

My rating is 10/10. This is a definite must-watch. 

Keep it weird,
Jazz xo

NETFLIX REVIEW: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENT SEASON 3 (2019) | Jazz Blackwell




It'll probably come as no surprise to most that I was something of a Lemony Snicket superfan in my youth (okay, I still am). The weird, gothy little child that I was became really rather obsessed with the weird, gothy tales of the Baudelaire children and their many misadventures. A hot take, but I was also a fan of the 2004 film - listen, I know it tanked at the box office and was pretty poorly reviewed, but show me anything with Jim Carey and I'm probably gonna love it.

I was pretty excited then when, two years ago, Netflix announced that they were making a TV series of the books. While I thoroughly enjoyed the film, I always did hate how much got left out. For those not in the know, the series consisted of 13 books, of which only the first three are covered in the film, with a very different ending to the one given in the books and a different sequence of events. A series had the potential to do what a film couldn't: all 13 books could have a reasonable amount of screen time, and we could get the ending that Mr Snicket (real name Daniel Handler) intended - and boy, did Netflix deliver!

As mentioned previously, I'm in love with Jim Carey, and so I worried about how well Neil Patrick Harris, wonderful though he is, would fill his shoes in the role of the treacherous villain and mediocre theatre actor Count Olaf. Any worries, however, were cast aside in the first episode of the first season: Harris is every bit as comical and sinister as Carey was, and he plays the (maybe not so) iconic role perfectly. Throughout the three seasons, he's only gone from strength to strength: he really brings Olaf to life as the character you love to hate. We don't do spoilers here, but in that scene in the final episode (if you know, you know), I was unexpectedly moved literally to tears; something I'm sure has everything to do with the performances of Harris and of the lovely Allison Williams as Kit Snicket. 

I also love Patrick Warburton - perhaps just as much as I do Jim Carey. Seeing him reprise his role as the series author/narrator Lemony Snicket was always going to be wonderful - but he, much like Harris, exceeded my expectations in this season; giving his most compelling and emotional performance in the series to date, he deserves every possible accolade available in my opinion. The same can be said for Malina Weissman and Louis Hynes in their roles as Violet and Klaus Baudelaire - each of them accurately and brilliantly portrays a child forced to grow up too quickly, in a way that really tugs the old heartstrings. Even Presley Smith - who is literally two years old - manages to give a punch right in the feels with her portrayal of Sunny, the youngest Baudelaire.

As expected, the sound, makeup and effects teams for the series have excelled themselves. I think I'll be able to watch all three seasons on a loop for years and still be amazed at how they managed to make Neil Patrick Harris' Olaf look near-identical to Jim Carey's.  The effects and backdrops are as astounding as ever, with the sole exception of the water in the final episode, though I have an inkling that this was done deliberately to reflect the fantastical and unreal nature of subsequent seasons (though that may just be the over-analytical English student in me). The soundtrack is catchy as ever, with the same eerie-yet-singable 'Look Away' theme tune as the previous two seasons. In terms of writing, the storyline is solid, as expected, with jokes, easter eggs and subtle references aplenty, with even a couple of very amusing fourth-wall-breaks. 

I really have only one criticism of the series and, honestly, it depends on how much of a purist you are. Again, I won't give you spoilers here, but I will issue something of a warning: if you're expecting the same open ending as the books, you may be disappointed. 

Overall, I'd rate this season a 9/10

Keep it weird, 
Jazz xo

MY GOALS FOR 2019 | Jazz Blackwell

Hello there friends. Everyone's favourite inconsistent blogger is back in the New Year, and (hopefully) back with a vengeance!

Okay, so it's been some months since I last made a post - the previous one being well before Halloween. I kinda dropped the ball with this thing, and dropped it hard. It was for a few reasons; I took a job, which ended up not working for me at all, I suffered deterioration in my physical and mental health, and I became completely snowed under with uni work, which I left completely to the last minute.

But enough for my X-Factor Audition sob story. Things are going quite well for me now, and it doesn't do at all to dwell on the past. Instead, I think it's best to use this post to look at the future; more specifically, the year ahead and what I'm hoping to do inside of it. I hesitate to call these New Year's Resolutions; those feel far too ephemeral, far too easily broken and far too much like a fad. Instead, I'm setting myself a list of things I want to have achieved by 31st December 2019 and I fully intend to post at least a couple of update posts throughout the year, as well as a round-up on the next New Years Eve.


1. Run 5k in 30 minutes or less

Back in October, I got back on my bullshit, so to speak, in terms of physical fitness and was actually utilising my university gym membership four days a week and going to pole fitness classes once a week. I know working out isn't for everyone, but I was honestly thoroughly enjoying it, and my body felt the best it has in years. Unfortunately, with the aforementioned surge in workload, I fell off the wagon for half of November and most of December.

My plan for the New Year; utilise the Couch to 5k (aka C25K) app that I've loved so much in the past, and actually train myself to run 5km (3.1miles) in half an hour or less. I'm someone who enjoys running (shocking, I know), and its really something that helps my mental health. I'm hoping that setting a goal like this will really get me on track to do it regularly this year.

2. Read 50 books this year

I used to be such a big reader in school - I'd be plowing through a couple of books a week, sometimes having more than one on the go at the same time. Hell, I started my blog as a book blogger. Recently, however, I've kind of fallen off the reading wagon and I don't really have an explanation for it.

This year, I want to try and read a total of 50 books - just a little less than one per week. I'm cheating a little and including my compulsory reading for university in this; partially because I'm taking twentieth century lit this semester and am very excited about some of the books on our reading list, partially because it'll ensure I actually make myself read them, and partially because I'm being practical and wondering if I'll have time to read one a week outside of that. If all goes to plan, I'll have a reading roundup at the end of every month, where I let y'all know what I've read and how I felt about it.

3. Be able to climb in pole

I mentioned in my first point here that I've been going to pole fitness classes as of late, and it's something I'm really enjoying. It's an incredibly empowering and liberating sport, as well as being a fantastic work out. Thing is, as much as I enjoy it I'm not particularly good at it - mostly due to my distinct lack of upper-body strength.

My goal for the end of this year is to successfully achieve a pole climb - exactly what it sounds like. While spins are decidedly more fun (at least in my opinion), it's the climbing that's a real struggle, and I definitely feel like I'll have a sense of accomplishment if I manage to do it properly!

4. Post on this blog at least a couple times a month

If you're a reader of this blog, it'll come as no surprise to you that I'm, at best, inconsistent. However, I really do want to try to be more active on social media in a blogging capacity this year; much like exercising, it's a hobby I really do enjoy yet I don't exactly make enough time for myself to do it.

To remedy it this year, I'm aiming to post at least fortnightly here and at least every other day over on my Instagram. Hopefully I'll be able to do it a little more frequently - maybe weekly or more - but I'm allowing myself that leeway to make sure I get into the habit.

5. Try to be late for class less than once a week

Much like Lewis Carroll's white rabbit I, frequently, am late. For pretty much everything - so much so that I was even given an 'award' for it at the end of my sixth form career. It's one of my worse habits - generally, I'm not that late for class (though on occasion I miss the first half of a lecture) but sometimes those first five minutes that I miss are vital to understanding the rest of the class, or I miss important information that I'll regret not having later.

My goal here is to reduce the number of times I'm late to class to one a week, at max. I'm not going to say I'll never be late, because I know myself well enough to know that that isn't possible, and that shit happens so that sometimes I'll be delayed on getting into uni. But if I can get there on time for all but one lesson a week, then I'll be happy as Larry.

6. Try to see friends in a social setting at least once a week
My first two years of uni, I was great at socialising - always out doing things with my friends, even if it was just a short walk or a quick coffee. This year, however, for various reasons, that doesn't really happen so much any more and outside of classes, I don't really get to see people that often. 

This year, I want to make a concerted effort to spend time with my friends at least once a week, even if it just means them popping round to mine (or I to theirs) for a coffee and a chinwag. Studies have found that spending time around people that you like increases levels of serotonin - the happiness chemical - and have even suggested that socialising could lower your risk of dementia, so it's really worth trying to hang out with people more often. 

7. Have as many assignments as possible done the day before the due date
Look. I'm a uni student. We're known as expert procrastinators. If there's one thing I really really am good at, it's putting shit off until the last minute. Really, it's not been that much of a problem for me thus far, and I've usually had things done on time. However, in the past couple of months I've had so much else to do and put so many things off that I've had to apply for extensions on deadlines. Not that there's anything wrong with needing an extension, of course; I'd just rather not need one because I put off work.

To avoid that this year, I'm going to try and make sure I have any of my assignments done the day before they're due, rather than the day of, so that I can proofread and submit them within plenty of time.

8. Make sure to go through my wardrobe and clear out at least once a month
If you know me irl, you'll know that I am the literal personification of the concept of a 'floordrobe'. My clothes generally end up on a massive pile on my bedroom floor, rather than hung up in the cupboard or folded in my drawers. Simply put, it's because I just have far too many clothes, and I don't even wear half of them. I also keep buying more - a habit I know is going to be harder to break than my messiness, so we'll maybe deal with that in 2020 instead. 

This year, however, my plan is simply to go through my wardrobe at the end of each month and clear out anything I feel like I haven't worn in a long time, anything that doesn't fit me, or anything that I feel like no longer suits my style. 

9. Only eat takeout/fast food once a week (at most) 
Confession time: for the past month or so, I've been completely abusing Deliveroo and Just Eat, to the point I should be banned from both apps. Seriously; there should be a law on how many takeout deliveries are allowed to one address, in the interest of keeping me from ingesting a year's worth of sodium within three days.

My aim this year is to cut my takeout/fast food intake to no more than one day a week - not only will it help me to save the money I so desperately need to save, it'll also help with improving my physical health, and I don't think anyone can argue that that's a bad thing.

10. Get my skin conditions under control, so I can finally get my first tattoo. 
Since I was a baby, I've suffered with eczema and I've had issues with psoriasis for the past couple of years. It's something I'm used to and it doesn't bother me as much as it once did, but it is getting in the way of one thing in particular; since I was a little thirteen year old emo kid, I've been desperate to have at least a couple of tattoos. However, as you can probably imagine tattoos and such conditions aren't really the best of pals; it's not sensible to ink over broken skin and in some people tattoo ink can even cause breakouts of eczema. 

This year, I'm really going to try and make a concerted effort to get my skin under control for a long enough period so that I feel like I can get my first ink by New Year's next year. That's another thing that my last point should help with too; I could for sure spend the money I'll save on takeout on a tatt! 

So those are my goals for the coming year - here's hoping I manage to smash them! 

How about you guys? Have you got any goals or resolutions this year? Let me know! 

Happy new year,
Keep it weird, 
Jazz xo


BASED ON A TRUE STORY: THE AMITYVILLE HORROR

Last week, I made a post that delved into the supposedly true story upon which my favourite horror film The Exorcism of Emily Rose claims to be based. It seems only fitting, then that this week I should make one looking at the events behind the horror movie that fights Emily Rose for the top spot - demonic-thriller classic The Amityville Horror. 

The Amityville Horror (1979)

For those of you who don't know, The Amityville Horror is a 1979 horror film based on a book of the same name published only two years prior. It follows the young Lutz family - George and Kathy, and Kathy's children from a previous marriage - who purchase a house in Amityville, New York a year after the previous occupants, the DeFeo family, were murdered by one of their own; the family's eldest son, Ronald Jr. The Lutzes last only 28 days living in the house before they're driven out by powerful paranormal forces which seem set on causing only harm. 

The Amityville Horror is probably one of the most iconic films of the 'based on a true story' persuasion. And that's because... well, it is. Or, at least it seems to be on the surface. Certainly, the Lutz family exist and they did move into the now iconic home at 112 Ocean Avenue, Amityville, where they stayed for only 28 days. And, tragically, the murders that preceded their move-in by a year were all too real. 

Ronald DeFeo Jr's mugshot
Ronald Joseph DeFeo Jr - known to friends and family as 'Butch' - was just 23 years old on 13th November 1974 when, at approximately 6:30PM, he stumbled into Henry's Bar in Amityville, New York. Seemingly distressed, DeFeo made an unsettling plea the patrons the bar that evening: "You gotta help me! I think my mother and father are shot!" 

A small party of people accompanied DeFeo back to his family home at 112 Ocean Drive, where his suspicions were confirmed - his parents, Ronald Sr (44) and Louise (42) were shot dead in their bed. Upon arrival of police, however, an even more sickening discovery was made - the rest of the DeFeo family were also murdered. Dawn (18), Allison (13), Marc (12) and John-Matthew (9) had all suffered a single fatal gun shot, whereas Ronald Sr and Louise were each shot twice. Each victim lay face-down in their own bed, and evidence suggested that Louise and Allison had each been awake at the time of their murders, and that all of them had taken place at around 3AM that morning. 

DeFeo was originally taken into police custody for his own protection, as he stated that he believed his family had been the victims of professional hitman Louis Falini. However, after inconsistencies began to appear in DeFeo's story and Falini provided an alibi which proved beyond all reasonable doubt that he wasn't even in New York state at the time of the murders, police grew suspicious. The next day, DeFeo confessed to murders, claiming that he did so after he heard their voices plotting against him. He plead not guilty by way of insanity, however the prosecution claimed that DeFeo was lucid at the time of the murders, though they believed he suffered from Antisocial Personality Disorder. On 17th November 1975, DeFeo was convicted of six counts of second-degree murder and sentenced to twenty five years to life in prison for each murder. He is currently imprisoned at the Sullivan Correctional Facility in Fallsburg, New York and every appeal he has made to the parole board thus far has been denied. He is now sixty seven years old. 

The Lutz family, whose patriarch, George, was noted to bear a
strong resemblance to Butch DeFeo
Just a month after DeFeo's conviction, thirteen months after the murders, George and Kathy Lutz purchased  the 5 bed, 3.5 bath home at 112 Ocean Drive for just $80,000 (approx. $375,000 today). The price was reduced due to the murders - of which the Lutzes were made aware. They would move out just a month later, each taking with them only three changes of clothing. 

Almost from the moment of moving into the house, the Lutzes - particularly George - reported feeling strong, negative paranormal forces at play. They claimed to hear strange sounds - including George reporting a phantom brass band that would march through the house - and that locked doors and windows would swing open and closed, as if by a pair of invisible hands. They called in a priest - Father Ralph Pecararo - to bless the house, only for him to be commanded by a disembodied voice to "get out", and develop stigmatic blisters on his hands.  

George Lutz claimed he would wake up at 3:15AM every day -
the same approximate time the murders are believed to have occurred.
The family also reported strange, unpleasant smells, for which there was no conceivable source, swarms of flies despite the frigid winter weather and green slime oozing from the walls. George purportedly woke at 3:15AM every one of the 28 days the family lived in the house - the same approximate time that DeFeo is believed to have carried out the murders. It was also noted by many, including George himself, that he bore a strong resemblance to Butch DeFeo and he even inadvertently began drinking in The Witch's Brew, a bar at which DeFeo had once been a regular patron. Kathy claimed to have vivid nightmares about the murders, including the order in which they took place - a fact she did not know prior to moving into the house. Perhaps most chilling of all the apparently paranormal activity in the house is the presence of 'Jodie', an entity with the head of a pig whose eyes glowed red, and Melissa - Kathy's young daughter - befriended. George claims to have seen Jodie standing behind Melissa in her bedroom window whilst in the yard one evening, and Kathy reportedly saw a pair of glowing red eyes in the darkness when she closed Melissa's window (which Melissa claimed Jodie had climbed out of) one night. 

Eventually in January of 1976, only one month after moving into what was supposed to be their dream home, the Lutz family fled in the middle of the night, taking only three changes of clothes each. Their leaving shortly followed a second failed attempt at blessing the house, though the exact events of their final night remain a mystery. Regardless, their ordeal had garnered them international attention; by 1977, author Jay Anson had published The Amityville Horror, a book apparently depicting the events they endured, which would go on to be a huge commercial success. The case even drew the attention of Ed and Lorraine Warren, world-famous demonologists, who conducted a seance and paranormal investigation at the home on New York's Channel 5 in February of 1976. It was during this investigation that the now-famous 'Demon Boy' photo was taken depicting a small child (who is said to closely resemble John-Matthew DeFeo) peering around a door frame in the empty house. 

The infamous 'Demon Boy' picture was taken by Ed Warren, who claimed
the house was empty and no child was present at the time of the photograph's capture.
So it seems like that should be case closed, right? A family was tormented by the evil spirits that pushed a young man to murder his entire family and were driven out of their home by it. Classic demonic haunting case, right? 

Now, what if I were to tell you it may have been a hoax? 

Since the publication of Anson's book and the release of some sixteen movies about the ordeal, many have called into question the validity of George Lutz's story, with some - including his own stepson - outright claiming that he grossly exaggerated the events that occurred in the house, perhaps even lying about the whole thing, in a shameless attempt to capitalise on the tragic story of a family's murder. 

Allegations of George Lutz being less-than-truthful actually go back to DeFeo; though he initially claimed to have heard voices telling him to commit the murders, he has since changed his story several times over the years. At times he has even gone so far as to revert back to denying his guilt completely, claiming he was in New Jersey at the time of the killings. In short, DeFeo is, at best, unreliable and whether or not he heard the voices Lutz claimed to also hear is questionable. 

Further, several people who were allegedly involved in the ordeal either claim the events didn't happen as Lutz recalls them, or deny them completely. Notably, Father Pecararo, the priest who the Lutzes called in to bless the house initially, claimed to have experienced no paranormal activity whatsoever in the home - no disembodied voice and certainly no stigmatic blistering. Even Christopher Quaratino, Kathy Lutz's son and George's stepson, claims that the events in Anson's book were exaggerated, with some being made up completely. In a 2005 interview with the Seattle Times, Quaratino denied that the haunting was altogether a hoax, claiming he remembers seeing shadowy figures and hearing locked windows open and close, but denies that the walls oozed slime or that there was any pig-like entity in the home. He referred to his stepfather as a 'professional showman' who had dabbled in the occult and brought the haunting upon himself. 

Perhaps the most damning evidence for the haunting being, at best, hyperbolised for monetary gain and, at worst, an outright hoax is the confessions of William Weber. Weber was the family's lawyer and also, interestingly, had defended Butch DeFeo during his murder trial. Following a dispute with George Lutz over money, Weber confessed in 1979 that he, George and Kathy had fabricated the entire haunting 'over several bottles of wine'. The Lutzes were motivated by money, Weber by his desire to get a re-trial for DeFeo, aiming for a 'Devil made him do it' approach. 

Anson's book claims to be 'A True Story':
however, lawyer William Weber claims he and the
Lutzes fabricated the story.


Similarly, Dr Stephen Kaplan of the Parapsychology Institute of America had his suspicions that the ordeal was entirely fabricated, after he received a phone call from George Lutz in 1976 requesting an investigation from his team. When Kaplan asked Lutz questions about the nature of the haunting, he received vague and unconvincing answers, and when he informed Lutz that there would be no fee but the public would be made aware of if the story was a hoax, Lutz cancelled the investigation, claiming he didn't want any publicity around the family - perhaps why Kaplan was so shocked to see the Warrens's seance broadcast of channel 5. In addition, Kaplan discovered, with the help of a columnist at the local paper, that the Lutzes had returned to the 'hell house' just one day after they fled in the middle of the night to hold a garage sale, and that movers who went to retrieve the Lutz's belongings reported no sign of paranormal activity in the house. Kaplan published a book titled The Amityville Horror Conspiracy shortly before his untimely death in 1995, in which he maps out his overwhelming evidence against the Lutz's and Warrens's claims that the house was definitively haunted. 

So what do you think, my lovely, spooky reader? Do you believe that George Lutz is telling the truth and that naysayers do so just to spite him? Or do you think that he created the story in order to make a quick buck on the tragic murders of the DeFeo family? Let me know! 

Special thanks to the following sources where I did my research: 

Keep it weird, 
Jazz xo



TRULY TERRIFYING: HH HOLMES AND THE 'MURDER CASTLE'

Herman Webster Mudgett, better known under the pseudonym of Dr Henry Howard Holmes, was a 19th century entrepreneur who is widely regarded as one of the very first serial killers - at least, in the modern sense of the word. 
Herman Webster Mudgett would later go on to be known as H.H.Holmes 


Born in 1861, Mudgett was the third child of Theodate Price and Levi Mudgett. Both devout Methodists, his parents owned and ran a farm in Gilmanton, New Hampshire. Mudgett claimed to have been bullied as a child, including one incident where classmates forced him to touch a human skeleton after discovering his fear of the local doctor. Despite his claims that this event had terrified him, it is widely believed that this was the beginning of Mudgett’s obsession with death. 
In 1878, Mudgett married his first wife Clara Lovering, who gave birth to a son named Robert in 1880. 
Mudgett graduated from the University of Michigan’s Department of Medicine and Surgery in 1884. While attending the University, he would routinely steal corpses from the laboratory, disfigure them and claim they were killed accidentally in order to collect the insurance money from policies he had taken out on each deceased person. In 1886, he moved to Chicago to pursue a career in pharmaceuticals. He also became involved in several shady businesses and adopted the name of HH Holmes. 
In 1887, while still married to Lovering, Holmes married Myrta Blekna, who later had a daughter, Lucy Holmes, in 1889. Holmes lived with his wife and daughter in Willemette, Illinois, though he spent most of his time in Chicago attending to business. In 1894, while still married to both Blekna and Lovering, Holmes married Georgiana Yoke. He also took up a lover in Julia Smythe, who would later become one of his victims. 
Upon his arrival to Chicago, Holmes was given a job in the drugstore of Dr Elizabeth Holton. When her husband died, Holton agreed to sell the company to Holmes. He paid for it mostly through funds obtained by mortgaging the company’s stock and fixtures, a loan which he paid off in substantial instalments of $100 per month (around $2,625 in today’s money.) Using the profits he made from the shop, he bought a lot of land across the street. It was here that he built his three-storey, block-long hotel, dubbed “the Castle” by locals. 
"The Castle" was a large building, constructed in time for Chicago's World Fair
Holmes repeatedly hired and fired different builders from different companies to construct his project and, thus, was the only person who fully understood the complicated layout of the building, in particular the labyrinthine structure of the top two storeys. Features amongst the maze of 100 windowless rooms included doors that could only be opened from the outside,  stairways that led to nowhere, doorways that would open to brick walls and hallways that sat at bizarre angles. 
Opened as the World Fair Hotel in 1893, “the Castle” proved a success amongst those who had travelled to attend the fair, with much of the ground floor being dedicated to commercial space including Holmes’ own relocated drugstore and other shops. Selecting almost exclusively female members of staff as his victims (though some were also hotel guests or Holmes’ lovers), Holmes soon began his string of murders. 
The ways in which the murders were conducted were gruesome, yet creative. His methods included, but were not limited to, locking victims in soundproof bedrooms with gas lines that allowed Holmes to asphyxiate them at his will and locking victims in a large, soundproof bank vault close to his second-storey office, where they would be left to suffocate. The bodies were dropped via a secret chute into the basement, where Holmes would meticulously dissect the corpses, strip them off flesh, craft them into skeleton models and send them off to medical schools across the country. Some bodies were cremated and others were dumped into lime pits for destruction. Due to the connections he had established whilst at medical school, Holmes had no issue illegally selling skeletons and organs. 
Following the ending of the fair and the general decline of the economy, Holmes left Chicago. He first reappeared in Fort Wrath, Texas, where he had inherited the property of two heirless sisters, one of whom he had promised to marry and both of whom he murdered. After abandoning an attempt to construct another project similar to the Castle, Holmes travelled around the USA and Canada. During this time he was arrested for horse theft. Despite being bailed out quickly, he met convicted train robber Marion Hedgepath, with whom he cooked up a plan to take out a life insurance policy of $10,000 and to then fake his own death, promising Hedgepath a $500 cut for naming a lawyer who could be trusted. However, the insurance company became suspicious of Holmes and refused to pay. 
Due to his inability to get insurance on himself, Holmes involved long-time associate Benjamin Pitezel who agreed to take apart on the condition that his wife would take half of the $10,000 insurance payout should the plan be successful. Holmes agreed but instead of faking Pitezel’s death as planned, actually killed his associate and even went on to manipulate Pitezel’s wife into granting him custody of three of her five children. 
Holmes manipulated his dead associates wife into handing over
three of their children. He would later murder all three.
Holmes resumed travelling around the country, leading Mrs Pitezel on a parallel route and lying to her not only about her husband’s death (claiming he was in hiding in London), but the whereabouts of her children. The remains for the two Pitezel daughters were found in the cellar of a house Holmes had rented in Toronto, the third child and only son’s bones and teeth being found in the chimney of a house in Indianapolis. 
Holmes’ murder spree ended in 1894, following his arrest in Boston. Hedgepath, angry that he have never been paid as promised, had tipped police off that Holmes was engaging in illegal activity and he had been tracked from Philadelphia. After the Castle’s custodian, Pat Quinlan, informed the police he had never been permitted to visit the top two floors, an extensive investigation revealed the horrors of Holmes’ life of crime. 
The true extent of the murders has never been fully discovered. Holmes confessed to 27 counts of murder, however the true number of victims is thought to be closer to 200. Police reports state that there were so many disfigured remains in the Castle’s basement it was difficult to tell how many separate bodies there were. Although the victims were primarily blonde adult females, it was noted that many of the remains appeared to have come from men and children. 
Holmes was hanged at Philadelphia County Prison in May 1896. He is quoted in his confession as saying; "I was born with the devil in me. I could not help the fact that I was a murderer, no more than the poet can help the inspiration to sing — I was born with the "Evil One" standing as my sponsor beside the bed where I was ushered into the world, and he has been with me since."


Keep it weird, 
Jazz xo